At Last

It's spring break!!! Ahh, this blessed release is so warmly embraced by all that the atmosphere is akin to that which usually surrounds the commencement of summer vacation~

No More Joking

Goodness. I can't believe it, but I haven't slept before 2 in the morning for over a week now. I would guess that it started last last Thursday night. Actually, more often than not I've slept barely before three during this time period. And the two Saturdays included thus far, I've slept at a shocking 5:30. Sometimes I wonder how I'm still on my feet, walking through school, not nodding off in class, laughing around with friends, and most astoundingly, making it through ballet class (with a broken air conditioner might I add, so at around 80 F) without breaking down at some point.

And I know that most people out there who bother to read this will be snorting at how much I must procrastinate, but really, I haven't even procrastinated that much in the past few weeks. I've seriously been busy. Spring break may be next week, but with the amount of work I have, I'm not sure if I'll be able to do any relaxing. Well, some has to happen. What I meant though, was if I would be able to go on any outings other than my promised trip to see the Hunger Games (yes, it's a shame that I haven't been to see it yet, but like I said, I'm almost literally drowning in work). After all, AP exams are close (to Asian mothers at least) and of my four AP exams, I'm not expecting to be prepared for any if I don't whip through those waiting piles of study guides cluttering my bedroom floor. I'm taking AP Bio online, and I feel as though I've learned nothing because reading the textbook for it is just at the bottom of my school-related priorities and so long as my grade stays up, my mom doesn't pay too much attention to it. I haven't had AP Lang since last semester since my school operates on block schedule, so no I'm feeling as though writing even one essay will be beyond me, much less analyzing rhetorical strategies and persuasive techniques while fighting a time limit for three different essays. Though I'm taking AP World right now, our teachers just too much of a nice guy, so I don't have high hopes of finishing the material before exam date. That, of course, means much more extra studying for me. And finally the thought of the AP Calc exam just terrifies me. For one thing, it's on my birthday this year. Great. And then what really makes me nervous about these next few weeks is the fact that I'm taking Calc AB in school but I'm taking the BC exam because few universities particularly care about the AB exam. So there we have more studying lined up (insert forced exclamations of joy).

My Prince

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Like a Dream

I feel like recounting the robotics competition this past week in South Carolina, but as I have no idea where to start, what to detail, and how to organize my memories, I suppose I'll just have to leave it at a single word:

bittersweet.

No Way

So robotics is another one of those predominately boy clubs. And I've mentioned earlier that we're going to South Carolina this weekend for a competition there right? Well, of the girls, only me and a freshie friend can definitely go, and then her friend may be able to go. No problem so far right? Hah, that never lasts for long.

Today , I found out that my friend's mom might not let her go because all the adult chaperons are guys too and so we would have to have our own hotel room. We're staying at a Howard-Johnson, which apparently isn't too sketch but not exactly high class either, and now both our parents are worried about our safety. Of course that's not even near the depth of my problems.

So today my friend was sick enough that she was allowed to skip school. That means she had a really high fever. And since our trip is only two days off, what if she can't go? Then I would be the only girl going, which while totally fine with me, is definitely not okay at all with my mom. I was talking to her about it earlier in the afternoon, and the only compromise we could reach was that she would then accompany me there. But I really really don't need my mom tagging along. That would be humiliating enough by itself (sorry mom), but it would be especially so when I just so desperately want some time to talk to him.

Another Near Miss

Aren't those just the worst? It's bad enough when things don't go according to plan, but when you're off by just one or two? Awful.

So way back in February I took the Biology Olympiad Open Exam in the hopes of making the Semifinalist list this year. Well actually, to be entirely truthful, I was just trying it out this year and had absolutely no intention of anything. But then today I noted from my FB friends that the scores had come out so off I went to check mine. So this year's cutoff score is 24 out of 50 right? Well, I had a solid 22. And while that's not too too close considering there were only 50 questions, it still makes me feel terrible. And I haven't even told my parents yet. After all, they're always the ones to harbor the most hopes, even if I express my misgivings. I really want to tell my mom right now so she can laugh at how close I unintentionally was and then soothe my ruffled pride a bit. Terrible that it's so late right now and that, no matter when I do tell her, she probably won't calm me at all. On the contrary, I would almost bet that she would just shrug it off in some way that explodes my injured pride, act nonchalant about it for a day, and then spend the next three months randomly questioning me about the exam.

Sad that there's such a pattern to all the competition's in my life. Is this all a sign?

Goodness

My my, mother dearest is going to have a heart attack when she checks my most recent grades on Pinnacle. Let's hope she's too busy until more are added to check. Not to say that my grades are bad or anything. Overall, they're still all A's and at a comfortable level. However, if one looks only at the most recent grades of each class, namely those added in the time span between last week and this week, there would be enough cause for me to fall over if I hadn't been the recipient of them. Now, to show what I mean, here are my latest grades in the subjects of...bio:80%, calc: 84%, hist: 90%, chem: 60%, french: 77%. Perhaps I've been just a tad bit overexcited about robotics these past few days. Ohh help me. Guess I really should be doing my calc homework right now. Or maybe my chem lab analysis. Or even my French booklet. And how about the biology that I'm a week late on? Goodness..

Quelle Chance?

Boy am I happy that I didn't listen to reason and decide that we could not possibly go to South Carolina for a robotics competition. After all, usually I hate to bring false hope or to have others point out loopholes in my overexcited ideas. This time though, the benefits just simply outweighed any associated risks. And while I still feel like all credit should go to my Wheeler friend, my teammates are all heaping praise on me like I just discovered a new law of science. I can't deny that I'm not enjoying it, but I also feel guilty since they, once again, think I'm responsible for something that I didn't really start. Ah well, the most important thing here is that I'm able to stay overnight in SC with him and maybe even ride in the same car on the way there. And, of course, that our team is receiving another chance at showing the world our skill and rising to the next level of the competition. Which also means that I'll see everyone on the team for at least another month. Yess

Hope

Just yesterday night my Wheeler Magnet friend who is on their FRC robotics team informed that their FTC robotics team, which hadn't made it past the Georgia state tournament either this year, had signed up to compete in South Carolina. Of course when I heard this little tidbit I just a bout flipped out. Needless to say, I scrambled up all my contacts and sources, researched the daylight out of this news, and dispatched a few texts to my teammates and emails to those in charge of the competition. It turns out that we are NOT too late to sign up for the competition, we have enough money to attend, some sponsors to take us there, and the determination needed to go. So what's keeping us back? Well, our ever so wise team captain told me that he didn't want to attend if we weren't sure of measuring up to the competition there. After all, we don't want to embark on a four hour drive, spend copious amounts of money, and then utterly fail at the competition. This brought my spirits down a bit as I had previously been so elated by the new opportunities in front of me that I had failed to consider the logistics of it all. But we're all taking some time tonight to think through whether we can rush some changes to our robot within two weeks and crush the upcoming competition. Let's hope we all get a solid yes.

Mesmerize

Hey. No biggie. It's totally alright for me to be juust a bit sad right now. Right? I mean, my team is completely crestfallen about performing so poorly, my beloved captain has had to bear the bulk of the blame, and of course my parents are furious that I managed to break my contacts. They call it vanity that I had to take it out during the competition. I call it cloudy contacts. But you know what? The smell of his scent on my hand more than makes up for that. I'm so strange. I always knew it, but never that it was this much.

Maybe I massaged his shoulder so much that I kneaded part of his essence into my hand? Not in a weird way or anything.

State Robotics Comp!!

Not really that exciting. Or maybe it's just since we were plagued with software problems, racquet ball annoyances, and of course my dropping and smashing a hard contact. Needless to say, we lost today. Was it due to our general overconfidence after easily winning an almost perfect regional? I can't denial that it was, but at the same time I can't condemn us for our arrogance. After all, it was really a matter of pride. That and the fact that we seriously though we could just breeze through the state rounds. Guess fate didn't want to comply.

It almost seems as though all of the recent past events have acted as a sort of premonition to today. The riot at school on Thursday. The following food fights (yes, plural), fire drills (again, note the plural), and general pushiness of the students on Friday. Oh, and of course we can't forget the tornado drill and subsequent blackout yesterday night. Being smushed into such a small room with that many people was not okay. Especially since the one person I wanted to gaze at was at the far side of the room.

Don't get the impression that I'm ranting or complaining about the competition today though. I'm not exactly angry. Or at least, not about losing. Or even really about my broken contacts. No. I'm just severely annoyed that all those members of our team were venting about our captain's decision to attach three claws to the robot instead of two. But really. Who was it again that built 70% of the robot? And who was it that came up with the entire plan and thought through all the details? And really,who was it that started the actual club? That's right. The captain did. And these bumbling buffoons didn't even have the decency to at least think those ugly thoughts outside of his hearing. Oh no, they say it while he's not even three feet away. During the second half of the day I could almost feel him slipping away and growing more and more anxious. I believed in his technology, though not some of his logic, and the three claws really were not the problem. But their complaints obviously disgruntled him though he tried not to show it, and so throughout the last matches when we had worked out the problem, we was too focused on proving the robot that he never even noticed me yelling instructions at him. The team should just feel awful for criticizing his additions to the robot when they haven't done ANYTHING compared to him. End rant.

Aside from that though, I did enjoy today immensely. The ninja games are one thing that I'll miss about the Seniors leaving, and the flirting as well of course. Those battles of wits really give me something to look forward to throughout the week even. I mean come on. Every night at one, when I finally have some free time, I push myself into crunches, planks, and other whoknowswhats with the thought of HIM on my mind. Haha, what makes me so happy right now is that since I hugged him so many times, though not how anyone imagines hugs, that my hand and jacket smells just like him. Weird much? Just a bit. But I love it nonetheless. All those neck hugs will stay on my mind for the longest of times and the fact that he initiated some of them, though backwards, and despite him being the hugest flirt I know, will be fluttering through my thoughts for no one knows how long. Ahhh, breathe deeply. Everything will be alright.

Maybe he's graduating this May. Maybe since we didn't win the competition we won't have meetings anymore. Maybe our two year grade difference means we have no classes together. Maybe he does have a girlfriend. Who knows. I certainly have no idea what the future has in store for me. After all, look at the past few days at school. Did I ever think I would be living through a high school life of rioting and turmoil? Certainly not when I signed up for the IB program. And did my opinion change? Ohh, but yes. After two days I have decided that nothing is too farfetched.

Hey. It's spring. Magic is in the air. Take a breath.